So, I was over at my friend's house the other day. (Yes, this JUST happened - in case you were thinking that the bird problem was simply one from many years past!) The four small children were playing outside in the backyard and we were happily sipping coffee at the kitchen table. Life was grand I tell you!
There was a small happy commotion outside and I got up to take a closer look, basically checking to see if there was any blood to be honest, because that's the bar for interrupting a long overdue conversation with a friend. The two smallest ones were bent over, eyes to the ground, chasing something. Something small, yellow, and peeping...
"Oh, a chicken!" I exclaimed trying to sound completely sane over the very small chick that had wandered into the yard. My friend has heard and read my bird stories but I try to keep my insanity under control when you meet me in person...
Curious, she came over to inspect the happenings outside the door - which was slightly open and, if I might point out, a beacon of safety for the chicken being chased by small beings who show their love by crushing objects...
The two year old bent down to try and pick up the chick and, sensing danger, the chick fluttered its wings. Well, that was it. I lost all rationality and slipped into hysteria. Still standing behind the sliding glass door, I shrieked "Protect my children!" and then skedaddled to the corner of the kitchen, waving my hands in a panic as my friend, in the midst of her laughter, went out and rescued...THE CHICK who was being pursued by all four children intent on loving it to a quick death.
The cat and I watched from the protection of the house.
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Oh, Sarah--I'm sorry to laugh, but a chick?! So, so funny. Not that I haven't acted the same way about a spider, mind you, but I've managed to learn not to flip out at the little ones:). Although I do think that is mostly due to a run-in with a freakishly awful big one ON THE CEILING with no one between it and my kids but me. The only reason I didn't go pound on the neighbor's door was the fear that I'd come back to find it GONE and not know when it might attack one of us;). Calling 911 seemed extreme;), so instead I called my mom, who tried not to make fun of me;), and I ended up using a 4-foot long board to kill it while standing on a chair (so it wouldn't land on my head). After I jumped off the chair and saw the guts, I started sobbing and shaking. No kidding. Very traumatic. The little guys are nothing after that;). Guess I shouldn't laugh at your chick:). Glad your kids are still alive:).
ReplyDeleteSee, this is funny because I'm the designated spider killer in my family! They don't bother me at all! I'm glad, though, that someone else can burst into sobs and shakes over animal "trauma" just like me. So far I've still managed to keep my cool in front of the kidlets...but that's only going to last so long before I completely blow my cover and either traumatize them OR give them ammunition against me for the rest of my life! :)
DeleteI met another "bird traumatized" victim this past weekend - you are not alone! She claims it all started with the bird mobile her parents hung above her crib as an infant. = ) There must be a support group out there somewhere...
ReplyDeleteWe bird phobics keep a low profile, but we're out there! :)
DeleteThis is just perfect, Sarah! I am laughing as I write this and it's even better having just finished reading Andria's splendid post on Raphael and hearing about the chicks first there (but not hearing this part of the story). I wish I had been there! ;-)
ReplyDeleteI'm sure that you'll get your own chance to witness my particular brand of crazy! :)
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