Thursday, June 3, 2010


Moderation isn't something I do all that well. I like to term most of it as "enthusiasm" or "healthy obsession". Some of it is harmless some of it might go a little overboard...I try to keep it under control.

My enthusiasm has put me in a number of interesting situations. Like the time IKEA was having an early morning sale and I dragged Steve to the store at 5am in order to get in on the good deals. You have never seen anyone so enthusiastic and excited before the birds are even up! I don't think I've ever been as giddy over power tools and the chance to steamroll over people still rubbing sleep from their eyes. Steve has never gotten over the trauma and just the name "IKEA" causes his eye to start twitching.

Obsession rears up when I read. It's not unusual for me to walk around the house wrapped up in another world completely oblivious to what is going on around me. Even more disconcerting to Steve (even though he's had years of experience with this now) is to suddenly realize that the conversation he's been involved in is actually about a fictional world and/or character and the depression or exhilaration I'm experiencing is due to my imagination and nothing more.

But these questions haunt me..."how will Nicholas escape from the underground prison that is slowly filling with water when his feet have been flayed from the beating and he's weak with hunger and torture?" or "..will Bella convince Edward to change her?", "...stay away from Gale, Katniss. How could you pick him over Peeta?" and "how will I EVER read again now that Owen has died?" You get the picture...Steve has been sucked into many an alternate universe without his knowledge or agreement.

I won't even mention the times that I forget I'm playing a soccer game JUST FOR FUN or that one piece of cake is just as good (and better in the long run) as eating 1/2 of a cake or that legendary Pictionary game...

I often get overwhelmed with all of the projects and plans I have going on in my head and the lack of time  to start and complete them all. Then comes the guilt of living in my head when I should be paying attention to what's going on around me or discouragement at being lazy and never getting anything done (it spirals down to the extreme quickly...).

But I also know that the myriad of plans and ideas exploding in my head bring life and vitality to me and the world I create around me. So instead of getting sucked into a pit of guilt or discouragement I work at enjoying the dreams and the imagination and the thrill of "what if".

And when I do start another project or book or dream I try to keep the thought of moderation in the back of my mind; not to stifle the thrill but to stay connected to my reality that is just as magical so much of the time.

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