Vision

Sometimes things fall into place through absolutely no fault of your own. Because your vision was rather dim and murky with a vague label of "survival" haphazardly pasted on top. And the greater vision is deeper, harder and more nuanced and beautiful than anything conceived in a mere human brain.

But suddenly, labels, which so often are touted as stifling and limiting, open doors to knowledge. And that knowledge delivers some freedom from guilt and worry. Hope creeps in and maybe a smidgen of extra patience piggybacks in with it.

A connection, two years deep that bring a guaranteed smile to her little face every week, suddenly expands beyond music and brings the soul-deep relief connection one feels when they hear "Oh, me too!"

Our support network has expanded in ways that feel bigger than mere numbers.

The days are busy, so, so busy, can I say busy 50 more times just to emphasize how busy it all feels? But, not in the head down, push through it and try to remember to breathe way.

The sun has been streaming through my extremely dirty windows and I have actually noticed. And today, the surf broke on the sand and the weather pushed 70 degrees (in January!) and we all smiled and laughed and yelled with delight.

Friend

There are good friends.

There are friends who are there through thick and thin.

There are friends who adopt you as family.

And I am so thankful for each and every variety.

Friendship is such a gift.

Sometimes friends just sit in support...

Solitary

This girl loves her solitary moments.

I completely understand, even when I'm trying to provide "socialization" for her - because that's an important skill too.

 

 

Basically, we like to be solitary together.

Which is a lovely sentiment.

Magic

There is magic outside.

You just have to get out in it.

 

Fort Vancouver, Washington.

June 2014

Predator

So, The Princess isn't really into dolls, fairies, or even princesses anymore. She's completely in love with animals. All animals, insects, reptiles, extinct dinosaurs are on her list but when she plays pretend she almost always chooses to be some type of predator.

I am now very adept at holding a stuffed animal out at arms length so that the Caracal in the house can practice her jumping techniques to catch her prey...

A Lion once bit me in the butt in the kitchen.

Sweetpea is often roped into playing the "prey" and runs shrieking through the house while the Cheetah nips at her heels.

After being roped into being a Polar Bear I was informed that the Killer Whale would rip my arms and legs off easily because of the rows of sharp teeth.

She's holding a stuffed woodpecker.
What's the natural predator for a woodpecker?

And then...

At her school presentation this week The Princess brought her stuffed seal to talk about. The stuffed seal that is the size of her younger sister and is wearing a tutu. She didn't tell me what the presentation content would be but I assumed, considering the tutu, that it would involve a nice story about sleeping with and dancing with her favorite seal.

"Hi my name is ________ and today I would like to tell you about my seal. This is my stuffed seal and I like to sleep with her at night. She has spots because she is a leopard seal. She lives in the Arctic and she eats penguins."

The end.

No mention of the tutu or dancing or that they're cute with big eye-lashed eyes. Then one of her classmates asked her if she had a stuffed penguin.

"No. She ate it."

Skeleton Reader

This girl always finds a comfortable spot to read.

Afternoon Visitor

The Princess has been collecting acorns and storing them out on our little deck. 

They've been discovered.

 

The Princess has plans to replenish her supply.

 

I'm not sure that we really want the word to get out in squirrelville though!

Down By The River

 

Late Afternoon Jaunt

Fort Vancouver, Autumn Light

 

Apples

We went apple tasting.

 

 

There are a TON of apples. 

 

 

 

Sweetpea was done halfway through. Appled-Out! 

The Goldfish and The Butterfly

Every year I get challenged on at least one of the two Halloween costumes I'm requested to provide. This year, thanks to Aunt Gretchen's stash of high quality paints and our high quality diaper boxes, we spent a lot of time painting our masterpieces and I really only had to stretch my brain for the goldfish.

The Princess and I were both quite pleased with our creations.

Sweetpea was completely confused as to what we were doing. Until the person answering the door at the first house put candy in her basket and then she was fully prepared to run up to each and every door.

It was the girls first experience trick or treating in a neighborhood (as opposed to the zoo or the mall) and, to quote Sweetpea "THIS IS AWESOME!"

Only 364 days until we can do it again. (No word yet on the costume requests for next year, but the animal theme seems to be strong so place your bets accordingly.)

School

School days are pretty great when you can sit in front of the fire and snack on carrots while you work!

 

 

Absorbing it all while in the vicinity.

Practice

The other night, after a rousing game of chase, tickling and "who can scream the loudest in glee " with Daddy, the girls went to bed and spent the next hour trying to settle down. There is a weird correlation: The closer you are to quiet bedtime the more likely it is that a frenzied game of something crazy will ensue.

With lots of hugs, kisses and admonishments to be quiet they finally settled into bed. I went in a little while later to say my own goodnights (In my calm, soothing mom spirit that is guaranteed to cause eyelids to droop and sweet smiles hover on lips. Ha!)

After a hug The Princess said to me "Mommy, I don't like Daddy."

Now, there was much evidence to the contrary, starting with fact that she'd just begged him to tickle her to the point of vomiting and protested loudly when all games were declared to be at an end. And my instinctive response was to immediately tell her she was wrong and educate her as to why.

But I saw the gleam in her eyes. The question, the anticipation, and the WONDERING of what my response would be. Those words were rolling experimentally along her tongue. Because, to a 6 year old this is highly inflammatory statement. To the Dad in question it's rather inflammatory as well. But the response she thought she'd get wasn't what she needed and, more importantly, it wasn't the one I needed to give.

"That's okay. You don't have to like Daddy but he will always love you." Her head cocked with this surprise bit of information.

"Daddy and I love you. Sometimes you might be mad at us and sometimes you'll have lots of fun with us, sometimes we'll all be happy and sometimes we'll all be sad but we will always love you no matter what."

We're both practicing this parent/child thing. She's practicing the ability to be herself, to say what she feels, to be honest with the good and the bad. We're practicing how to create the space to let her do that. How to build the safety in so that when she says it at six or screams she hates us at sixteen she knows that the love is still there.

Plus this is a good way to start building a thick skin.

Autumn Light

If you're following any blogs from people in the Pacific Northwest you're well aware of what an amazing fall it's been. Clear, sunny, crisp. Spectacular.  I won't be sad when the rain finally arrives but this weather is amazing!

Fairies in the Sky

Is there anything better than a warm autumn day that fades into a crisp night? With friends, food, pumpkins, play, and a bonfire that sends "sparkly fairies" into the night sky?

 

I think not.

Copernicus

We are going full tilt this fall, as one can see from my lack of posts as of late. What with the addition of serious (and continued, blerg, blah, argh...) job hunting (Steve), homeschool for The Princess, starting an additional part-time job for the time being (me), and a serious case of germs that has taken hold of all of us and seems to want to set up camp for the rest of the winter (hopefully NOT!) things (me, Steve too) are feeling a little stretched.

However, there are positives in all of those new stressors and today's silver lining was obvious. Actually, it's more like the stressors were the gray lining AROUND the silver cloud.

The Princess loves science and today we followed up on our study of Copernicus by plotting out the solar system prior to his realization that the sun is the center of our universe. We've talked about Copernicus and watched a couple of Youtube videos, but I wasn't sure how much she'd retained until we started working on the project together. Turns out she'd retained it all and schooled me on the facts!

Done!

So, we had a delightful afternoon of conversation, questions, coloring and stickering. It's the kind of learning I'd envisioned when we decided to try homeschooling this year - building a love of learning in her and reinforcing it in me.

More Done!!!

Silly

They really tried for a sedate, nice photo, but the silliness just took over...

Framing

So... October. Yeah, how did that happen?

 
I've been thinking a lot about framing. How we frame the world, our lives. How it's something we learn, something we practice, something we choose to do.

It's a struggle sometimes, to frame the world with hope.

But, I don't think that framing the world in a positive way is naïve, silly, or a waste of time. It's a struggle between the world we're presented and the belief that there is more going on than what is in sight.

And now, with kids, my frame is even more important. Because, as each day begins I'm teaching them how to view themselves and the world and how they navigate in it.

The frame isn't gilded with gold, it isn't ornate and it doesn't surround rose-colored glass. It's worn, sanded, excoriated and polished with cracks and dents. It's a frame that highlights the good, is realistic about the bad, and knows that the struggles are what give strength, character and empathy.